Sunday, March 25, 2007

Final Thanks & Goodbyes

To all my friends, family and well-wishers.
Simplybryan has come to it's final entry.
It has been a great few years leaving behind my thoughts and feelings here.
If you'd like, the archives are always there for all to read through.
What happened to me recently has been life changing for me.
Learnt alot of important lessons in life.
From here on, it's all about growing and improving as a person.
If you are a person who means something to me, drop me an e-mail at bkwx82@gmail.com
I will promptly reply you to let you know where I've moved to.
Thanks once again.
Cheers to all.

God Bless!

.:Bryan praised God at 1:52 AM

Saturday, March 24, 2007

The Day of Reckoning

I'm taking Su Ann out for dinner tonight.
To celebrate her birthday with her.
Since I'm not going to have a chance to celebrate with her on her actual birthday.
Today marks a day of reckoning for me.
To see which direction I will be heading for.
What's in store for me after this.
Keep me in your prayers, all who read this.
I will be praying as well.
Su Ann, if you ever have a chance to read this, the previous entry is for you.
The lyrics is what I have been feeling lately.
I hope you can understand me.
Thank you.

God Bless!

.:Bryan praised God at 2:15 PM

The Reason

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I use to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

~Hoobastank

.:Bryan praised God at 2:00 PM

Monday, March 19, 2007

Wedding Sunday

Been a real busy Sunday for me.
Attended 2 weddings today.
Norimah's wedding was over at Jurong West.
After service, picked Yennie, Mandy & Jie Ni from their homes respectively.
Got to Norimah's place close to 12.
This was my first "malay wedding" that I've been invited to.
It was really interesting cos the culture is different and it's really an eye-opener.
In fact, I was looking forward to this since last year when Norimah told me about the wedding.
Actually, I wished Su Ann was there too, cos she hasn't been to an event like that either, and she was kinda looking forward to attending.
The few of us took this picture with the groom & the bride before we left.
Nice huh??

Well after Norimah's wedding, we needed to chill out at some place.
Since I drove the 3 ladies, I took them to Jurong Point after that to find a place to sit and drink coffee.
We ended up at Delifrance having some latte, iced lemon tea and some pastries.
After Jurong Point, we still had quite a few hours to spare and we didn't really know what to do.
So I took them to Hangout Hotel @ Mt. Emily.
They've been talking about this place, wanting to come spend a few nights.
So since I'd actually been there with Su Ann before, brought them there for a little "tour".
I managed to bring them up to the rooftop terrace of the hotel.
Thought it was a really nice place to chill esp at night.
They were impressed and excited about this place.
Cool.
Took some pictures of the roof terrace.
It looks good in the day, but even better at night.
Trust me.

After the Hangout Hotel, we headed over to Bugis Junction to walk abit.
We were still in search of a nice place where we could sit down, chill out and have a drink.
So we settled at Hotel Intercontinental.
Chilled out at the nice comfy lounge, listened to the guitarist, enjoying the nice comfy couch, nice cool air-con.
Here's a pic of Mandy & Yennie.

Now here's a picture of a lucky guy surrounded by 3 very good, beautiful friends.

Lucky fella.
Haha.
Well anyways, we made our way to Zharin's wedding thereafter.
Zharin's wedding was really beautiful.
I can't even begin to describe it in words, all I know is that I wished Su Ann was there.
I really wanted her to share the moment and experience with me.
Times like that when I feel really sad and alone.
Though I'm happy for the couple getting married, but myself, I can't help but feel lost.
I called her wanted to ask her how her day was, she cut my line and didn't answer.
I supposed she was in a movie with.....
But not to speculate or something.
In fact, Zharin had a video of himself and his wife, and the music which they chose for the video, From This Moment On and Let's Stay Together.
2 very special and meaningful songs to me because Su Ann loved those songs.
And when I heard it, my eyes filled up with tears.
I actually typed a msg on my phone wanting to save the msg in the drafts, but I accidently hit the "SEND" button and my msg got sent to Su Ann.
I'm not sure how she reacted to it but I just hope that they were not negative.
I felt so bad that I immediately sent another sms to ignore the previous one.
Sigh....
I'm being eaten up from the inside.
Eaten up by myself.
Anyway, caught a nice quote from the wedding itself.
Thought it was meaningful so I'll share it here.
"Love is sweet when it's new,
Sweeter when it's true,
Sweetest when it's with you."
Gosh....
Sigh....
I'm gonna sleep now.
Been dreaming of her everynight.
Every single night.
I guess tonight will not be any different.
Sleep tight ya'll.

God Bless!!

.:Bryan praised God at 12:27 AM

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Wedding Weekend

Have 3 weddings to attend to this weekend.
Attended Sharon & Robin's this morning back in Hebron.
Have Norimah's wedding tmr morning and Zharin's in the evening.
Busy busy weekend!!
Anyways, this morning at Sharon's wedding, I was definitely missing something.
I didn't have my partner there with me by my side.
Once again there was an emptiness about me that I have been experience.
A void that can only be filled by her.
Right now I'm very thankful to her, that she understands me and still cares.
She's not avoiding me, she answers my smses and when I call her, she still talks to me in a nice friendly tone.
Thank you Su Ann.
Emotional roller-coaster taking effect again.
High emotions, low emotions, tearing me apart.
I never knew how to appreciate her while she was around.
But now everyday is a new lesson for me.
Everyday I'm learning my mistakes, and making sure that I don't ever commit them again.
I've learnt to appreciate her for what she has done for me.
I've learnt to respect her as a person for who she is.
I've learnt never to put her down but always uphold her everywhere we go.
I've learnt never to keep anything from her, but to open up my heart and mind to share with her.
I've learnt alot of things, and I would really like the opportunity to make good these lessons that I've learnt.
To put to practice and enforce these valuable lessons.
I pray that I will have this chance.

"Thank you Lord, for making me realize my mistakes.
I pray that I will have the opportunity to show that I've matured and that I'm changed for the better.
Regardless what comes my way, please teach me and keep me strong in my faith and trust in You Lord.
Thank you for everything You've done for me.
Amen."

.:Bryan praised God at 5:14 PM

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Volkswagen Opening!!!

Just got back from the Volkswagen Opening party!!
It was really fun!!!
There was free flow of drinks, fruit punch, champagne, wine & beer.
Of course, I seized the opportunity to drink free beer.
Haha.
They served Tiger initially, so after downing 3 glasses, I felt quite contented.
Then after the opening, they actually served real German beer.
No one knew what it was called.
All I knew was that it tasted good and smooth.
So I helped myself to about 3 glasses again.
Haha.
It was really fun cos I've never been to a big event like this.
Alot of top people, executives and big names were there.
It was a really cool event.
I've never been to such an event like this before, but I hope that this isn't the last I'll attend.
Haha.
Took quite a few photos, will introduce the photos as I go along.


Here's a snapshot of the party.

Another pic of the party...



This Golf GTI was where the DJ spun his records.


Check him out. Pity I didn't get his name though.


DJ & Me. Spinning from the back of the car, Pimp My Ride style!!! Haha.

Volkswagen, German company, Singapore style, Lion Dance inevitable. Haha.

Myself & the R32. German Technology, German beer in hand. Haha!!


This here is Levin Ng, one of the Singapore Idol finalists, dunno if you recognize him.


Wan Hua & Myself, another Singapore Idol Finalist.

It was really cool meeting up with Levin & Wan Hua.
Levin was a nice boy.
I thought I'd met him at Isetan at first.
Cos I bought a Polo-T from Callaway and I thought he was the guy who sold me the shirt.
So I asked him what he was doing before this, and he told me that he was one of the Singapore Idol Finalists.
Haha.
That was really funny!!
So I actually asked him for an opportunity to grab a picture with him, and he'd asked Wan Hua to help take the photo.
After that he also mentioned that Wan Hua was one of the finalists as well, haha.
So I took a picture with her as well.
I think overall it was a really good event.
The organisers did a good job.
They even had complimentary VW cabs to take the guests home in case they had a little too much to drink.
Ultimately, no matter how much fun I had, I always came back to one point.
And that was wishing that Lesley could have been there to enjoy the moment with me.
I really would have liked her by my side to experience it.
That would have been my ultimate high.
The best feeling that I could share it with someone I loved.
Well, I hope she comes back soon, so I can share all the happy moments with her again.
Anyways, feeling tired/high from the alcohol and fun.
Need to catch up on some sleep.
Tmr's Friday!!!
Haha.
Enjoy the weekend ya'll.

God Bless!!!

.:Bryan praised God at 10:32 PM

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

R-E-S-P-E-C-T!!

That's all I ask for these days.
For everything that I'm doing, learning from my mistakes, admitting them and wanting to improve as a person.
I'm so glad that I have my colleagues and friends around me.
They are the one who really keep me going.
Because they make me feel important for who I am.
Anyway, I've been thinking further.
This time of my future.
Where I will see myself in the next 2 years.
I'm not kidding when I type these next few lines.
I will be working in a big company.
Earning big bucks.
Driving my own car.
I would like her to be by my side when that happens.
But whoever's beside me, I guarantee the best for that person.
Highly respected, highly spoilt, treated like my own queen.
She who stands by my side will not regret it.
I CONFIDENTLY GUARANTEE THIS!
So I'm looking forward to my future and my life.
Because I know that I will be on the road to success and happiness.
And I will not forget those who've been by my side during this trying period.
Took this picture at No.5 with these 3 beauties.


Mandy, Jie Ni & Yennie


Jie Ni, the friend who's been there tirelessly offering her listening ear and her shoulder to cry on. Thank you!

Yennie, joined UOB together, always calls me "brother". We put on a mask together.

Mandy, the "jie" who's very practical and down-to-earth. Always showing me the harsh reality of life.

Haha.
Do I look like I've lost weight?
A number of my colleagues have actually mentioned that I have.
My tummy has gone down, my face lost it's roundness.
Do tell me the next time you see me??
Anyway, these 3 ladies are really good friends of mine now.
Will not forget them even after I've left UOB.
In times like these, true colours show, and you really know who are your real friends and who really cares for you.
Ain't that true??
Anyway, New Beginnings starting soon.
Be on the look out for it.
Will continue to pray and live each day fully in Him.
Do pray for me too that I may stay strong and trusting in Him.
Pray for Lesley too.
Even though she seems to be doing fine, just pray for her safety and a clarity of mind to make the right decisions.
Thanks all for your support and your prayers.
Remember, New Beginnings.

God Bless!!

.:Bryan praised God at 11:23 PM

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Open The Floodgates!

Today was a real emotional day for me.
I don't know why but I felt that the pressure really came down on me.
I was mostly in tears today.
Yes in the office.
In fact, while presenting to a customer, I almost couldn't control my tears.
I almost started crying while presenting.
Couldn't get my mind and thoughts off alot of things.
Sigh.
I kept thinking of her.
Everything I did, everything I ate, she was there.
Alex offered me a sushi in the morning.
He'd bought it from Edo @ NTUC.
When I saw it, I was reminded of the time I went to "Ballet Under The Stars" with her.
She'd made homemade sushi then.
And she packed it and brought it along.
Gosh...we were so in love then.
I remembered that as if it were last week.
Had lor mee for lunch today.
Thought of the time when we ventured into Tiong Bahru Market for breakfast and had the best lor mee I'd ever eaten.
I miss those times.
I miss her.
There are still so many things we've yet to accomplish together!!
So many things we talked about but have not done!!
Another chance to make things right!!
I was too comfortable.
I took her for granted.
I didn't respect her.
I know my mistakes now.
I'm just praying for another chance at things.
So that we can do things differently.
Do things brand new at a different perspective.
Treat her well.
Respect her.
Bring her up, higher than she deserves to be.
If she is to be the one in my life, she deserves more than what I had given her.
Much more.
I'm just asking for another shot at things.

I'm thankful that I have a very good friend who was there for me today as well.
In fact, she's been there for me all the way ever since the beginning.
Jie Ni is the only other girl who has seen me breakdown and cry in the past few years of my life.
I have alot to thank her for.
Always taking up alot of her personal time to talk about mine.
She is a very self-sacrificing true friend who will be there for any of her friends whenever they need her.
She really has a heart of gold and I'm really thankful to God that she is around.
I'd like to thank Chee Kin as well.
He's another who has been there for me, giving me advice and keeping me on the right track.
A good Christian perspective on this whole issue.
Lionel & Serene as well, who has their own experience to share with me.
Kelly, always there with a listening ear, being positive and always confident in me.
In fact, she's more confident in me than I am of myself.
Nisha, a very wise lady with plenty of wisdom and experience as well.
Very inspirational to sit and listen to what she has to say.
These are the friends who've been keeping me, upholding me and supporting me.
Of course there are many others who have been there too.
But I thought I'd highlight the few who really made that difference.
I'm thankful for all the prayers as well.
God has really been there for me guiding me, keeping me close to Him.
I'm thankful for that.
Somehow I feel better tonight.
I hope I can have a good sleep.
I need it.

I watched 300 today.
Watched it with Chee Kin.
Was surprised to hear from him regarding the movie.
Haha.
Certain parts made me sad though.
Especially when I see how the main character and his wife loved each other.
I miss loving someone and being loved in return.
And even more sad is that, she has watched this movie as well.
Things that I used to do with her, I can't anymore.
Times that we shared, will no longer be mine to share with.
Once again I pray for that opportunity and the chance to relive it all again.
To better the past.
To improve as a man.
I pray and seek for God's constant guidance.
He is watching me.
Well, I didn't wanna go home alone after the movie.
Felt sad enough that all the times I was at VivoCity, I was there with her.
So I took a train to Somerset to meet Jie Ni after her class.
Since I didn't want to go home "alone", I sent her home to Holland and took a bus back myself.
Irony is that I still had to take 75 home by myself.
But of course I felt better that I'd met up with her after my movie.
Thank you Jie Ni!!!
If you ever read this, know that I'm always grateful for you friendship and your time!!
Well, I'm off to bed then.
I'm tired, need to work tmr as well.

God Bless!!

.:Bryan praised God at 11:14 PM

Up Before The Alarm

Another day has begun.
Once again I find myself awake before the alarm rang.
Nowadays every time I wake up in the middle of the night, I have to toss and turn a couple of times before I can go back to sleep.
Is this really beyond my control?
Have I really become so helpless?
Can one person really do this to me?
I hope I have a good day at work today.
I hope that I can study.
I hope she'll continue to care.
And maybe someday she may love me again.
I pray...

.:Bryan praised God at 7:10 AM